bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
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i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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