just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
