I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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