I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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