we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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