Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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