I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize