FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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