i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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