I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
