its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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