this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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