As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
