talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize