That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
