that's an acceptable place to lick
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize