I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
