how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
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Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
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There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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