walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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