WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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