its not stalking. its research.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
