come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
