had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize