I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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