she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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