the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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