Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.