Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
