Whod you bang
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize