i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
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The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
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I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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