I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
