Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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