Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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