Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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