I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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