I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I wish there were birth control emojis
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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