Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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