i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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