last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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