I think I just saw someone hide a body.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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