I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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