OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
