i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.