everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business