Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.