Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.