what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic