Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
