you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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