I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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