I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she peed on how many people?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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