He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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