there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize