I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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