You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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